So... I've recently been pondering on something that just happened to come up with a friend of mine. We were talking about life and it's challenges and how sometimes, things are not very fun to go through and why we go through them. And then as we were talking, it was mentioned that our Savior had a point in His life where he was a broken person.
For some reason, this surprised me. I'd heard that before but I guess it never registered to me that our very own Savior was broken at one point in time. And that's when He asked the Father "Father, if it be thy will, remove this cup from me, nevertheless not my will, but thine be done." How horrible that must have felt for Him. To be there, suffering the sins of the world and feeling so broken, but knowing he has to go through that before the wrong can be right. I'm feeling eternally grateful that, not only has the Lord gone through what I'm going through right now, but he can help me get past it and he knows that I need to go through what I'm going through in order to grow in wisdom and knowledge.
I can't express how this makes me feel for it feels to strongly for me but... without my Savior I would be nothing. I'd be a person living life but to what end? I can't even describe how sad it makes me feel to think that if I wasn't born into a family who are the member's of the LDS church, and to think that I had no one I could personally relate to in how I feel. There are people out there I'm sure who feel quite similar but to feel the exact same thing as me? I can't believe that my Savior has that much love for me. He and the Father both know how I feel, and what I'm going through and can even read my thoughts to such an extent that it is discreetly distributed about them in blessings that I've recieved. And I am thoroughly amazed by how true this church is. And how much I want to cry with happiness when I think of my Savior and the sacrifice he faced for me. How personal that is. How.... how everything that I'm going through and will go through, my Savior knows exactly those feelings and thoughts and worries and wonderings and happenings that I truly am never alone.
I don't think that I've ever really felt alone. Not in a sense of divine power. Definitely not. No matter what it is that I go through, I know that my Savior is there just waiting for me to call upon Him. There are times when I feel as if I can't feel that amazing spirit. The spirit of the Lord that I've been gifted. And even when I can't feel the spirit, I know that my Savior is watching and listening to me. I, indeed, have questioned the church. It was a frightening thing but the more I read my scriptures and prayed, how much those quesitons left my head.
I feel grateful that I can read the Scriptures and feel the love of my Heavenly Father. Grateful that I can cry about the joy that I feel (even though I'm not a fan of crying). I am so grateful to know that I'm being taken care of. No matter where I go, or what kinds of bad or good decisions I make, the Lord is always watching and has a hand in every single thing I do. An influence upon my soul. I honestly don't know how I'd survive without the gift of the Holy Ghost. I don't know how people can do it. How they can live through life not knowing this feeling. And as time goes by, I'm grateful that I've got the opportunity to serve a mission. There are people there that I, Me, am supposed to teach that only I can really give them the influence to study more thoroughly this church. What an awesome feeling and to be able to know with such great certainty that they can find happiness within it, even when going through hard times, what a difference it will make in there lives. I'm grateful to know how close the Savior is to me. And that he's felt what I've felt and that I can let Him know without feeling ashamed because I've kept the secret or something like that. I'm grateful that He gives me courage and to be brave. And I'm so grateful that I've got the scriptures that I can rely upon. How wonderful they are. What a gift we've been given. These scriptures are like a lifeline to me. By reading my scriptures I can feel the power of the spirit coming upon me and pushin Satan away. Satan and his temptations that he tries to weild upon my heart. How grateful I am to know that I have the strenght to fight and to win. That my Savior is there right by my side and will never, EVER let me down. Even when I can't see what it is he's trying to do for me. And as much as I dislike not knowing what the purpose is for what I'm going through or whatnot, I'm grateful to know that there's a reason and not some dead end road I'm being led to.

And again, I'm so grateful that the Savior atoned for my sins. That I can read upon His words and take comfort in the fact that I'm not the only one who feels this kind of sorrow. That my Savior has felt the same thing and knows how I would handle a certain situation. How he can be by my side spiritually and lead me towards the path most rewarding and worth it for me personally. Such grattitude I feel.